Surgery time has been set. 11am on Friday.
Finley said she was scared on Sunday night about surgery… we prayed, and then I prayed a lot more for her. Then Monday I picked her up from school and as she overheard me tell a friend that I didn’t want to talk in front of her Finley says, “Mama, it’s ok now. You can talk in front of me. I don’t mind.” I ask her, “But I thought you were scared and didn’t want to talk about it.” To this she says, “I’m not afraid anymore.”
Huh? Was my reply. She tells me she locked her fear in a box, or rather a cave. I asked her to explain this, worrying that she is repressing her feelings.. and she tells me that she prayed and God took her fear and locked it in a dark cave. It’s gone.
Our God is so good. To have the faith of a child. I have been wrestling with fear since this all began. It is an active process for me. A battle. For her, her faith is tells her God can just take it from her… and he does. For me, it is more of a daily process… it is continually pressing in to him as a reaction to those fearful feelings. I need him on IV right now. I just reminded her, if the fear does come back – she can just give it back to God again – that’s just how it works.
Thursday, she will be on a clear diet for 24 hours, just jello, popsicles, and apple juice. Praying that she doesn’t notice any hunger pangs and we have a great, mellow day at home.
She still has a bit of an occasional cough, but no fever, Again, just praying if it’s God’s will for surgery this week, that this cough will go away entirely.
The Lord is my shepherd; I shall not want.
2 He makes me lie down in green pastures.
He leads me beside still waters.
3 He restores my soul.
He leads me in paths of righteousness
for his name’s sake.
4 Even though I walk through the valley of the shadow of death,
I will fear no evil,
for you are with me;
your rod and your staff,
they comfort me.
5 You prepare a table before me
in the presence of my enemies;
you anoint my head with oil;
my cup overflows.
6 Surely goodness and mercy shall follow me
all the days of my life,
and I shall dwell in the house of the Lord
His will be done.