The first time she complained of the stomach pain and had the low-grade fever back in the beginning of October, my mind immediately went to crazy town and thought that is was a bowel obstruction, reherniation, something to do with CDH.. It’s what I do.
But then I looked at the facts and told myself it’s just her body fighting a virus.
Then over the course of the next few weeks, almost once a week I would get a call from the school nurse that Finley was in there complaining of a tummy ache, accompanied by a low elevated temp between 99.0-100.4, occasionally she would mention that her throat hurt, or yesterday, a headache. There was nothing to worry about when she was at home, eating pretty normally (for her), and energy always seemed like her usual self. But when I got the call yesterday from the nurse, I knew it was time to see the doctor. 1 month of this was weird. I just wanted a strep test because I thought maybe she had some strange presentation of strep.
When he suggested a blood work up, urine, and x-rays – I was rattled for a minute, but thankful that he is thorough and doesn’t take risks with my girl due to her history. I asked for strep too, much to Finley’s angst.
I wasn’t scared last night. It was going to be nothing. Rowan and I prayed. Finley and I prayed. I did ask for it to be clear if there was something going on that it would be seen, and then I asked for his hand upon her, continuing to protect and heal her as he has in the past.
I wasn’t really nervous this morning either. I went to Finley’s Chapel and listened to her amazing teacher retell the story of Shadrach, Meshach, and Abednego and about trusting God. It really spoke to my heart. I felt God telling me to trust him in the fire. Reminding me that he was IN the fire with them. He could have kept them from being thrown into the fire, but he didn’t. The story would have a different ending.
Finley’s sed rate is high (38), the doctor told me. He is calling the ped gastro specialists at Randall to talk about next steps. We are still waiting on some of the blood work. My heart started racing. “There is definitely something going on” were his words.
As I am typing this all I can think is that I don’t want to be in the fire again. Who wants to be thrown into a fire? Really? But I am going to hold tight to his promises. He is still good. He loves Finley even more than I do. He is faithful. I can trust him. I cast my worries and fear upon him again.
I will rejoice and have JOY that I live in a place with amazing doctors. That my doctor listened and took this seriously, so even if this is some small GI issue, that it has been caught quickly. We have lots of doctors eyes on this now. I am thankful for a community of people that surround me and pray for Finley and our family. When I am weak – I can put my trust in him. I can ask for prayers off the ledge, and into the arms of a Father who loves me and will be there right with me, every step of the way. I can trust him with my precious girl. I can trust him in the unknowing place.
As another friend put it this morning, this isn’t our first rodeo.. so I remind myself not to worry about tomorrow – but keep trusting that he has us, he has her. He is going before us and along side of us. We appreciate the prayers so much – thank you for standing in the gap.