I forgot to mention the other term I learned yesterday – stabley unstable.. That is what Finley has been. When I say Finley is stable- it’s not like when talking about a normal baby- she is somewhat stable for a critically ill baby. Stable is still good, it just needs to be understood in the right context. She has had her bad moments- about 3 episodes of de-sat in the last 24 hours (one was because they did try to move her vent settings down, and she let them know she wasn’t ready). But she has had good things too- like her blood/gas numbers were good enough that they wanted to try the lower setting. Also, they said that it looked like her lung expanded a bit more (can’t recall which one) which should help a little with the PH (pulmonary hypertension). She opened her eyes a little bit today too- and it was so great to get to look in her (what appear to be) blue squinty eyes. She has been pooping – which is really good that the bowels are working. She is getting a little jaundiced and is starting to swell some. They say take things each hour at a time.
I am happy that my milk has been coming in – each pumping I am getting more. It is the only tangible thing I can do for her, so that is my full time job right now.
Time passes differently in a hospital – I keep forgetting what day it is and it just doesn’t seem right that Finley is not even 72 hours old yet. Thank you so much for the messages, texts, emails, etc. We really love reading them!
Yesterday was a turning point for me in some ways emotionally because I think it really hit me that we are in fact on a long journey – another mom used the term, marathon. I think in some ways even though I knew this information at a cerebral level, it really just sank in yesterday. I keep reading through the verses that have given me strength up until this point and I know pretty soon I will have them all memorized. Walking in faith and trusting in God has gotten me this far, now just need to do all the same things for this next leg of the journey.
Rowan and my parents came and visited today and we spent some time in the outdoor Children’s Garden – it was my first time off the 2nd maternity floor since Thursday. It was a good first step in reminding me of the world outside and eventually moving towards making myself leave here occasionally. It’s a beautiful garden if you ever have the opportunity to see it.